I thought only bike messengers and singlespeeders travelled with their trusty bottle openers, but lo and behold, Euro pros in the early 70s raced grand tours with bottle openers on chains around their necks. This Molteni domestique, riding in the 1973 Giro d’Italia, just raided a bar and is now riding no-handed in the peloton clutching a gigantic glass bottle. That seems safe. But the absolute kicker is having the foresight to compete with a bottle opener.

1. Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi kicking back with some Tatooine homegrown.

2. Osama Bin Laden, public enemy #1, samples some Afghani moocah in his most recently released videotape.

3. Renowned hipster William Burroughs savoring hookah-induced inspiration in Tangier.

4. Felice Gimondi seeking solace from cold, miserable conditions while racing in the 1973 Giro d’Italia.

Danish strongman Ole Ritter showed up in Mexico City during 1974 with a featherweight Benotto, scary-ass first generation clipless pedals, and steadfast determination to regain his hour record which was broken by Eddy Merckx 2 years prior. Unfortunately for Ritter, his attempt to beat Merckx’s mark of 49.431 km came up approximately 700m short. And I found out why. Look closely at this image. Little did Ritter know that Eddy paid off a UCI official to blow cigarette smoke in his face lap after lap. Ritter’s 48.739 km = 144 trips past the UCI chain smoker = 144 lung-fulls of wee toxic clouds.