I could be condemned to Hell for every sin but littering…Mike Doughty

John Lieswyn hit the nail on the head the other day with his comments about roadside litter (Tour of Georgia preview, April 6th entry). I live in the Triangle region of NC and it’s never ceased to amaze and appall me how much garbage is either tossed out the windows of vehicles or flies out of trucks without any tarp covering their payloads. I was out on a ride yesterday a bit north and then west of Durham and as an experiment over a 10 mile stretch of road I started counting to myself every time I passed a piece of trash on the side of the road. I never counted higher than 5…That’s a ridiculous amount of trash, and I’m not counting minute particles of Evel Knievel's skeleton and the punishment it's enduredpaper or cigarette butts. This is bottles, cans, magazines, kitchen-sized trash bags stuffed completely full, fast food detritus (bags, fountain drink containers, wrappers), broken furniture, miscellaneous clothing items…Is it too much to ask to keep your crap inside your vehicle until you get home or wherever else you’re headed? And cyclists who pitch Powerbar or GU wrappers are equally as guilty. Keep that shit in your jersey pocket until you get to a garbage can.

One Tough Mofo…

I think Joseba Beloki needs to give Evel Knievel a call so he can get his head screwed back on right and purge retirement thoughts from his mind. This is Evel Knievel’s skeleton and as you can see, among other shattered bones, Evel broke his femur not once, not twice, but FIVE times. Joseba only broke his once and he’s a shattered man. Granted, Evel wasn’t pedalling his Harley over 14 Greyhound buses, but Joseba could use a pep talk from Mr. Knievel nonetheless. I think this all stems from Lance Armstrong’s Jedi Mind Trick campaign that’s going full on in his attempt to attain 6 Tour de France victories and cycling immortality. Lance’s constitution is also Evel-esque in nature (who else would race the 2000 Olympic Games with a cracked vertebrae in his neck?), and now he’s waging psychological warfare among the podium contenders for Paris. Jan Ullrich? Pudgy and can’t finish a race…Joseba Beloki? Feeble-minded and can’t finish a race…Vinokourov? At least he’s getting results, but there’s no way that he can consistently out-climb or out-time trial an insanely focused Armstrong. To me, it’s looking like an all-American showdown between Lance and Tyler. I’d love to see what Hamilton can do with all his bones connected.

Comments (1) to “I could be condemned to Hell for every sin but littering…Mike Doughty

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